Neural Pathways: Why Everything You Believe Is True (And What to Do About It)

How we think and what we believe shape everything, from the way we see ourselves to how we connect with others. This blog is aimed at helping creatives understand the mindset behind belief and communication, so you can become more confident, clear, and authentic in your interactions.

Disclaimer: These posts are based on my experience coaching creatives and are meant for reflection and inspiration and should not be seen as clinical or medical advice.

I have a friend who sees the world through the lens of “Every person you meet is a friend you’ve yet to make.” She doesn’t just say it, she lives it.

When she walks into a room, people gravitate towards her. She’s warm, magnetic, and can turn the most insignificant interaction into memorable anecdotes for those whose path she stumbles across. Her phonebook is sprinkled with one-off encounters - the local barista, the inspirational man on the overnight train, the woman who’s chair she bought online- or as she would call them, her friends. And somehow, they all remember her. People talk about a ten-minute chat with her like it was a core memory.

We all know someone like that – the kind who skips past “acquaintance” and lands straight in “friend” territory before the second round of canapés have even left the kitchen.

It’s a lovely idea, isn’t it? That everyone is a current or future friend.

But is it true? Well – yes and no. She believes it, and so her world reflects that belief.

But whether someone becomes your friend? That depends on what you believe too.

And that, my friend, is the power of belief.

Belief Systems. Neural Pathways. Brain Wiring.

I used to run a leadership development programme. Each cohort spent a year turning potential into practical leadership. And whilst leadership skills and tools were a big part of this, I saw my real job wasn’t in growing the skillset – it was helping people get out of their own way. Helping them get free them from the beliefs that were keeping them small.

A sort of mindset locksmith.

Here’s what I learn from working with those leaders: our brains love shortcuts. If you’ve thought something often enough – “I’m not creative,” “I’m not good in groups,” “I’m not the kind of person who…” – your brain logs it as a truth. It makes that thought automatic.

That shortcut is what we call a neural pathway. 

It’s not just the thoughts you have repeatedly that shape these pathways. Your environment, experiences, and the people around you all contribute, wiring your brain in ways that feel familiar and automatic.

How Neural Pathways Work

Neural pathways are like tracks in a field. Each time you think a thought, you walk the same route. The more you walk it, the more defined it becomes. Eventually, your brain goes there by default.

Well-trodden neural pathways can be a beautiful thing. Without them, we'd be using our full brainpower just to figure out how to brush our teeth each morning, which, let’s be honest, would be a terrible way to start the day. These mental shortcuts are what let us carry out familiar routines without overthinking, thanks to something called procedural memory, stored deep in the brain. And the more we repeat those actions, the stronger the neural pathways behind them become, making them automatic over time.

But these shortcuts aren’t just for routines. They also show up in how we relate to people. Think of that colleague who always sounds a bit blunt (dare I say rude?) in meetings. The first few times, you’re convinced they’re annoyed. But after a while, your brain starts picking up on a pattern, this isn’t anger, it’s just how they communicate: direct, fast-paced, clear and not in fact, rude. Your brain spots the pattern, files it and refers to it later, helping you read them more accurately without the generating panic every single time.

But not all pathways serve us. Some quietly hold us back.

Neuroplasticity: The Brain’s Reset Button

The good news? Your brain isn’t fixed. It’s adaptable - that’s neuroplasticity: your brain’s ability to change, rewire, and build new connections at any age and stage of your life.

Here’s the catch: old beliefs don’t just vanish when we recognise they are there , but they do lose strength the more you stop using them, like grass slowly growing back over those well-trodden paths we talked about, until they’re barely visible.

“I’m not creative enough.”“I’ll never be confident sharing ideas.”“I’ll always be rejected.”

These common reflections I hear from creatives are all up for editing. With a bit of repetition, self belief, and focused attention, you can rewrite that story.

Confirmation Bias- The Secret Sauce

A few years ago, I bought a pair of gold stilettos for my gold-themed birthday party. I was obsessed- I wore them around the house like royalty. Then suddenly, everywhere I looked: gold shoes, gold outfits, even pop-up shops from the same designer. 

But here’s the truth: the world hadn’t turned into a gold mine overnight. It was me noticing things I’d never paid attention to before.

When you fix your focus on something, your brain goes on a mission to find evidence backing it up. This is called confirmation bias. It’s our brain’s clever way of hunting for proof that supports whatever we’re paying attention to.

So, if you decide to believe, “I am valuable,” your brain will start to look for, and find, evidence to prove it true (like your own personal hype squad).

Now, don’t get me wrong- unlike my golden worldview, changing our beliefs doesn’t happen overnight. But here’s the encouragement: it can happen. Old beliefs are like stubborn weeds in your garden. With a bit of daily practice, and some good self awareness of where those pesky weeds are popping up, we can slowly stop watering them and give our new belief systems a real chance to flourish.

The Washing Line Analogy

Here’s the analogy I used to give my leaders-in-training. 

Imagine your beliefs like washing lines in your garden. Every day, you hang evidence on these lines, making some more crowded than others. The lines you choose to fill - and which ones you take down - shapes what you see and feel about yourself.

Old beliefs might feel cosy and familiar, but sometimes they’re just taking up space. It takes courage to unpeg those and hang fresh, braver ideas instead, and to actively seek out evidence that these things are true:

“ I am valuable in a team”“ I have something worth sharing”“ I can trust myself in uncertainty”

It’s not about fixing you (you’re not broken). It’s about becoming aware of what you’ve been reinforcing, and choosing what to keep and what to change.

So, like any good coach, I’ll leave you with some questions to reflect on.

What old washing lines (beliefs) are hiding behind your recurring challenges?

If these lines were still full of clothes in 5 years time, how would you feel?

What shiny new washing lines are you ready to start hanging up and looking for evidence to support?

What are you going to do today to shift your attention away from the old lines and populate the new ones instead?

Cheering you on, with love and detergent,

Laila x

A quick note before you go: I’m a coach, not a scientist or medical professional, so while I’ve done my best to keep the science accurate and accessible, this blog is all about sharing ideas and initiating reflection, not giving expert advice. These are my own thoughts and observations, meant for your entertainment and personal growth. If you ever feel stuck or need professional help, don’t hesitate to reach out to a qualified expert.